Destructive and Harmful Narratives of Autism in "Unconditional Love"

This American Life,

I have been a happy and devoted listener to This American Life for years. I appreciate the thorough reporting, unexpected perspectives and unique approaches to storytelling. I began this week's episode recalling Harlow’s studies from my own years as a psychology student, and was moved to tears by the unexpected adoption story told by Daniel and his mother. But these feelings turned to rage, incredible discomfort, and disappointment during the final act. I am angry at This American Life for contributing to the dangerous narrative of the “tragedy” of autism.

In this act, Ben - the object - is a burden, a source of grief and sorrow for his family. His parents describe their lives with him as a “prison” that they must suffer through until he turns 18. At which point... what? This is an all-too-common role cast for autistic people who have historically been reduced to mismatched puzzle pieces, cautionary tales for anti-vaxxers, or fodder for Autism Mommy-bloggers who exploit their children's struggles for profit. At no point does the listening audience experience Ben - the human - a living adult capable of growth, success, and opinion.

Beyond this, the story perpetuates hugely inaccurate, commonly-held myths about the nature of autism, saying that Ben, “can’t conceive of the inner life of another,” or is mentally “a toddler,” or even described as an “infant” when the narrative places him around age nine. The voices in this story consistently assume Ben’s incompetence - and I believe the story producers do as well. He (unlike Daniel in the act just prior) is given no voice and no opportunity to communicate to the listener. The lack of representation is not only poor reporting; it makes me question whether Ben (now an adult) was given any opportunity to hear his story being told. I briefly thought things were taking a positive turn when the father begins, ”there is only one other person in the house whose opinion mattered...” but my hopes were squashed when he finished, “Ben’s twin brother Jake.” Ben’s humanity is again ignored and erased.

I want to make very clear that I am in no way demonizing these parents or criticizing their perspectives. I empathize with the pain of feeling unable to connect with their child, and the exhaustion due to the intense level of care required. The true tragedy here is NOT “Ben’s autism,” but instead the lack of education, resources, community, and respite available to Ben’s family. All parents and caregivers need breaks. All parents and caregivers need support. And those caring for autistic children or youth even more so. A well-rested parent is more attuned to the sensory needs of their child. A well-educated parent knows how to deescalate and disengage from a public power struggle.

I’m so happy to hear that Ben found happiness in his facility, but I am so saddened that he was not included in this piece, and saddened more to consider whether he consented to this piece being broadcast. This American Life has a massive audience and a massive responsibility (which I believe it is typically very aware of) to re-frame harmful stereotypes and to uplift the voices of people who are not often heard.

On this front, this week, it failed.

And this failure is not only upsetting, it is dangerous and it is violent. Just this month, March 1st, was the annual Day of Mourning to remember disabled victims of filicide - a tally of more than 70 in the last year. Everyday there are news reports recounting horrific abuses (through assault and restraints) to autistic children and adults - and innumerable mistreatments go unreported.

I urge This American Life to research the autistic experience more fully from autistic people themselves. Required readings can be found at https://www.autistichoya.com/ and through reading articles by autistic bloggers like Amy Sequenzia and others. Reach out to a local chapter of the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network. You owe it to yourselves and your listeners to hear these stories. To hear about the joys and strength of neurodiversity, the beauty of the autistic and disability communities, and the ongoing work to reframe the narratives that hurt and kill autistic people. I hope you take this opportunity to educate yourselves.

With unconditional love,

Heather Yaden

Heyaden@gmail.com

Special Educator, Adult Transition Facilitator, and Disability Specialist